August 2010

In line with using facebook status updates to fill in the time missed, here is one from August, 2010: "Eleven weeks!!! I recently found this in my mailbox- Tay sent his first box home- journals, planners, letters... eleven weeks! :D

Time was approaching fast and I had been looking forward to his homecoming for nearly two years- since the day I had hugged him and said goodbye.









Shortly after this box arrived, we also received a picture of a very special day for a couple of families- two families were baptized, the Dukes and Greys!

I don't know the Dukes, but Ted Grey has stayed in touch with me through facebook and since this baptism day he and his wife have been sealed for time and all eternity in a temple of God and have had a baby girl to add to their family of two boys. Such a sweet family and I am so thankful for their faith and friendship!
This status update included more info about the baptism day and my Tay: "Elder B was asked to perform all of the ordinances and apparently wept throughout the experience. So wonderful! How do I know this? President Cook, from his mission, called and shared this annnnd... that Elder B's wallet had been stolen. lol... figuring out how to help him from TX."

Nothing fills a heart faster than hearing good things happening to our children and because of these children, good things are happening to other people! Tay was at a definite high, as was I.

For Emily, an entry from August 2010: "Enrolling my baby girl as a Junior in High School today! 2 more years people- 2 MORE YEARS and I'm an empty nester! I'm looking forward to having them both home for three weeks at the end of the year. I keep wondering- if it may be the last?" And yet another update which goes with this photo, "First day of Em's Junior year- love you Em- go rock it! (First time in 15 years that I'm not driving a child to their first day of school. Strange!"

As for me- this status update sums up my feelings about being in school during this time, "I am relieved to reach Friday but I'm also worried that I may sleep through it...lol. TO LIFE!" and this too, "I put on my big girl panties and have accepted the fact that I had to take a year's worth of math classes after 26 years. I have accepted that I would give up a large part of my summer to homework and studying for tests, however, there is one thing I did not sign up for: dreaming about solving math... ALL NIGHT LONG. Give me a break already! LOL"

Now to look back with my today perspective on these events. With the excitement of Taylor's homecoming and success I had really hoped for a healthy young man to return home and jump into life. It was a struggle and it continues to be. He loved his mission! He loved the people and the structure and wanted to keep it with him , always, but the old negatives came charging back after he had been home for just a few months. Taylor is a wonderful young man who has to figure some things out. I look at the past and I know that in some ways I missed being the parent he needed, as did his father. Our family fell apart and each one of us are going to have to figure things out as individuals, with the Savior, to fix broken pieces (broken things to mend). I'm on that journey and pray for Taylor to find out how much can be changed through the atonement.

Evaluating my schooling and math experience- there is no way around stating that I had a difficult year. Interestingly, Jeff became my tutor and he helped me not only pass, but get an A. It sounds like a great accomplishment but the bigger accomplishment was a love that was growing along with a deeper trust being formed. He never deviated from being intent on only me and in turn, he also grew to have a deeper appreciation and trust for me, as I did for him. At this time we began to share the deep hurts from our pasts and how we used our agency while we were in that dark abyss of pain. Somehow we each came away being able to relate to one another in a unique enough way that it gave us each pause. Being understood AND accepted AFTER talking about sensitive things is somewhat of a miracle these days- and the gratitude began to grow for the opportunity we had been given.
This photo was taken at a bowling birthday party. We still had not had a first kiss, but I was feeling flirtatious with him and took advantage of posing for a photo to get a snuggle. :)