back from the abyss- temporarily :)

if for no other reason, i am here for me and the record which i hope to keep of the struggles and triumphs that i experience...

i looked back at the last entry and it spoke of James Ferrell and my excitement at being able to contact him. that was august??? wow.

today is march 12th and so much has occured since then. in short, i began school and struggled to find a balance with going back to school full-time, being a mom, working, and my church responsibilities with the single's program- which included a conference that in my last entry i hoped James Ferrell would speak at. through all kinds of twists and turns that is exactly what happened and i must say it was so worth the efforts! more on that later...

back to my fall. i am currently running 3 preschool aged classes and teaching piano to 12 students. my back to school schedule included 4 classes with a dollar bill attached to it. let me explain...

sometime in early oct i was given the opportunity to get a mammogram for $11. it was an opportunity that i couldn't resist so i scheduled and went and shortly after i was called and told that something was found. that was troubling as i don't have health insurance. i fall under the 'pre-existing conditions' clause that is quite convenient for them but not so much for me :)

fortunately a place called bridge breast network lets applicants apply for assistance, which i did, and they took care of me from then forward with scheduling the follow-up exams. i was referred to a cancer center in Denton for my next test and somewhere in that time frame i had a strong impression that i would know what i needed to know by my birthday (looking weeks ahead into november). when i arrived for my follow-up the cancer center had to reschedule me because the other films had not arrived yet. i personally picked them up and rescheduled.

during this time it was hard to keep my head in the work i was supposed to be doing at school but i did my best. i asked my friend and our Bishop to give me a blessing. i told my family and a few close friends. also during this time i received a call from my credit card company offering their insurance on my credit for 'life events.' i thought about the upcoming tests and decided to take a look at their offer. it was during this investigation that i learned that the credit insurance would also kick into gear if i was a student and if as a full-time student i made a 3.6 or higher. i took the bait and went for my next visit, scheduled on november, fri the 13th. yikes! during this visit they did another kind of mammogram and saw the cyst in my breast wall- but not well enough to rule one way or another so they asked me to stay for a sonogram.

the sonogram confirmed that i needed a biopsy and that would have to be scheduled. as i stood at the counter to schedule (honestly fighting back tears) the gal told me that november 19th was available. i looked at her and said, "that's my birthday." she replied with the desire to change to another date- telling me that i didn't want to spend my birthday that way. but because of the impression that i had received i told her that i DID want that date. it still made no sense to me because i knew lab work had to be sent away but i went and during the biopsy both the doctor and assistant let out a sigh at the giving way of the cyst and so i had to ask- does that mean you know something? they were both ready to confirm to me that my cyst was benign. this story was about a tender mercy- and it continues.

just after i was given a clean bill of health i had a couple of friends tutor me in excel and access while the stake presidency asked it i would give a talk about being single. the date? the evening of my last final- a night that i was also scheduled to feed the missionaries :) wow...i hardly had time to breath the next few weeks and never did get around to writing a talk. on the night before the final and my talk my brother called me.

i was very tired- brain completely done absorbing info so i took the time to extend a few questions his way regarding my talk and the subject. he probablyy doesn't know this- but our talk brought me to tears thinking about what it is to be single and the enormous pressure i was feeling to speak about it- wanting to do it justice but more importantly, saying what Heavenly Father wanted me to say. talking to bj helped me focus and it was then that i prayed and got ready for bed.

at 4:30 that morning i woke up to a message from Heavenly Father that was given to me in my dream. i recalled a story that our prophet had told us during conference and with that the strongest impression where that story was to lead. i jumped up and ran to the computer and began typing, while crying- the Spirit was so strong. i just felt guided! when the inspiration stopped i got ready to go to my final along with a quick review. the test went well- i ran to get the mishes some food and then home to finish writing my talk.

the day was some kind of miracle marathon. my time allotment to speak was just 8 minutes- but something changed that opened up 20 minutes for me. i shared the message, the Spirit joined in and i believe that it was pleasing to our Father. there were so many comments afterwards- people wanting to tell me their stories, my stake president telling me i hit it out of the park... it was such a relief to be an instrument in His hands for and behalf of the singles. at the end of this entry i am including my talk :)

one week later i received my grades: 4.0! i was so excited i did a happy dance like none other!!! i sent my grades into the card company and they have paid my last three months of balance along with my premium on the insurance. what a blessing!!!

to back track a little... em took drivers ed this fall, tay turned 20 and spent his first birthday away from home. em is now a gorgeous 16 and looking forward to getting her license while Elder B is a zone leader with the zeal of Brigham! i love my children :) also, during those crazy months i decided to create a book for Christmas for the family titled: The Family, a Proclamation to the World. it required a great deal of time and help from my sibs but i managed to get it done and ready for em and my trips to Utah for Christmas.

It's spring break this week. i hope to write more... if i don't then i need to say how much i am grateful for our Savior and Father's love, for the love of my parents, brothers, sisters, children, and friends. i am so lucky- so blessed :)

rhonda

preface- i did my best to use the talk as a springboard- so many of these thoughts had personal touches, led by the Spirit. anyway, here it is in type and i hope that the message can shine through!

I am humbled by the responsibility to address you, and yet I am grateful for the opportunity to do so. By way of introducing myself, I am Rhonda Barron and I am a single parent in this stake, who has been richly blessed by this gospel and the Single Adult program.

Last April, as I sat in a single adult conference and heard the message that “Christ was an administer of healing to others.” The speaker then prompted us to to ponder what our own ministry might be, so i asked, “What is my personal ministry?” It was in that moment that I knew what Heavenly Father needed of me- the Spirit washed over me, sharing: my ministry was to be within the singles program, with the singles in this gospel.

A little back story… up to that point I had eventually chosen to sustain the Lord’s single adult program, despite the stigma associated. Slowly I had learned that just like any other program within the gospel, the single adult program was what I personally made of it! As my attitude changed, so did my heart, and as often happens when a spirit gains a testimony, my love for the program grew as did my feelings for those I was meeting.

When I look back on my personal growth through this program, I recognize that my own Grinch heart had grown 'three sizes that day’! Instead of joining the ‘whoville’ dinner as the new big hearted Grinch did, I found myself a couple of months later with a phone invitation to sit across the desk from President McEntire, where I was extended the calling to be one of this stake’s single adult reps. :)

How can this pursuit of a personal ministry be applied to all of us, specifically to ‘rescuing’? The Lord wants us to step up and ask, ‘what is my personal ministry?’ We then can turn to blessings, scripture, prayer, and the temple, when seeking an answer.

In a recent conference talk given by Pres. Monson, we were taught to “Be of Good Cheer” as he shared the story (that brought us all to tears) of the woman in East Prussia who had lost her husband in WWII and then was required to move in the cold winter, by walking months with her four children to a new home. The elements and lack of food proved to be too harsh for her little crew, and one by one this mother found herself burying each child in the frozen ground with a tablespoon as her tool.

Around 4:30 this morning I was awakened to this very story following an emotional night with my Heavenly Father regarding this talk and what the Spirit wanted me to convey. Very clearly, following the prophet’s story and words, this next thought followed; the singles of today are yesterday's pioneers in their struggles.

We as singles are often alone and struggling while experiencing many hardships as the adversary makes every effort to beat us down. This explains the staggering statistics of how many singles remain active in the gospel vs. those that fall away.

Brothers and sisters, I’m humbly asking that if you were to have had come across this sweet mother in your life’s journey, would you have stopped to put your arms around her, offer words of comfort, even kneel beside her and offer help in her impossible task of burying her child?’

Let’s ponder and inquire of the Lord what we each might do to reach out and kneel side by side someone who is struggling within the Lord’s Single Adult program. ]

How can we help our brother, our sister? Love w/o judgment. Did you know that it is currently estimated that 48% of the church is single? Through death or divorce, you or someone you deeply love will be a part of this, the fastest growing demographic in the church. You have the opportunity in knowing this, to actively participate in building up the program, starting with a man or woman that you know- and showing love, and if applicable, extending that love to their children.

Include a single in your family’s activities and prayers, and encourage/invite to all of the activities! A gospel centered approach is the answer, and personal contact is the key. Together as a family we must recognize the value of home and visiting teaching, and contribute to the building up of this program w/: energy, enthusiasm, service, and a positive attitude along with finding a way to be very positive about what Heavenly Father intended to happen in this program of the church.

There is joy in this gospel and there is joy within this single’s program in this gospel! Heavenly Father wants each of us to know that we are eternal beings, whether we are married, or not! He wants us to know our eternal value and to be in the Temple being taught! Additionally, He wants us to be serving one another with a glad heart! I love serving this group of saints. I have seen miracles in abundance in my own life and in that of others, through works of service. I have also found that just one spark of the Spirit can redirect a life towards an eternal path! It is joyous in the way Heavenly Father wished, and I am so grateful for the offer of Joy in the Journey, no matter my marital status!

Pres. Monson continued in his talk saying, “The future is as bright as your faith! The history of the Church in this, the dispensation of the fullness of times, is replete with the experiences of those who have struggled and yet who have remained steadfast and of good cheer as they have made the gospel of Jesus Christ the center of their lives. This attitude is what will pull us through whatever comes our way. It will not remove our troubles from us but rather will enable us to face our challenges, to meet them head on, and to emerge victorious.”

In an address to single adult members of the Church, President Gordon B. Hinckley said: "Because you do not happen to be married does not make you essentially different from others. All of us are very much alike in appearance and emotional responses, in our capacity to think, to reason, to be miserable, to be happy, to love and be loved. "You are just as important as any others in the scheme of our Father in Heaven, and under His mercy no blessing to which you otherwise might be entitled will forever be withheld from you. "You are precious and important to Him. You are precious and important to the Church. You are precious and important to all of us."

I know this is true- my little family has been loved and served well. This has been a blessing that I have been eternally grateful for, and I would like to share some of this with you tonight:

1. Friends fasted in behalf of my spirit. After my divorce I was at a spiritual low, they knew I needed help and they gathered together in my behalf. And look, today I am able to stand up here and speak to you about it!

2. Home and Visiting Teachers served consistently in our home.

3. Young Men and Young Women leaders have continually reached out to my children in love. I now have a son serving in a California mission and a daughter that is doing great!

4. Within a few minutes of the tornado this summer our ward preparedness leader, and my friend Jay, my home teacher, my neighbor, and a call from my Bishop who was out of town, all reached out to me. I was overwhelmed by all of the attention.

5. My home was pretty battered from the storm. My home teacher’s son and companion helped organize the building of a new fence for us.

6. Countless inquiries, hugs, tears, and encouragement from a variety of sources.

7. And finally, the ministry of angels from a loving Father.

Despite the challenges and struggles that one faces following divorce, through the love, fellowship, and service of my ward family, the love of our Eternal Father, and the atonement of our dear Savior, my little family remains strong and steadfast in this gospel. I pray that this may be the experience of all within our ward families.

One of my single friends mentioned to me, “The Shepherd's fold, the ward family, is a safe haven from the world. No matter what our family status, we can be strengthened and strengthen others through the programs and established haven of the church.”

(I closed with my testimony of the positive good that reaching out with love and service can do- and I want you to know that Heavenly Father loves you- just keep looking to Him and the Savior and reach! By the way, I love you too :)